Cult of the Effete; Why millionaires want you to shut up

"I approached 'Cult of the Amateur', ready to hate it." So goes the lockstep cliché opening for reviews of Andrew Keen's childish polemic. That this is followed rather ubiquitously by something akin to "I found myself agreeing with much of what it had to say" pretty much bears testament to the old Alfred E. Newman saying; many people become lost in thought simply because it's unfamiliar terrain.

As blithe and smug as a medieval papal screed, 'Cult's' main point is that the current trend toward democratization of expression is not enlivening our culture, but rather, destroying it. Keen is right to a certain extent. His culture is dying, but why shouldn't it? Tech writer cum doggie groomer Jon Katz foresaw the death of newsprint way back in the early 90's. "Drop the harrumphing, tut-tutting voice", he advised. "Your not smarter than anybody else, you just control more machinery." The mummified elite took but small notice before further cocooning themselves against the rabble they so benightedly strive to educate. Newspapers going bankrupt left and right? Good enough.
Culture is in a constant state of flux, and to an aging generation stewed in its own comfortable convention, what is foreseeable evolution will always seem like a radical shift. Going your Grandpa one better, in Keen's privileged little myopia the decentralization of informational authority is not seen as natural growth, but as an unpardonable sin against those who are owed by birthright our eyes, ears, and treasure.
Such a stupefying sense of untilled entitlement is by no means isolated. From to cheeseball hacks like George Lucas musing about the superiority of their art, (Yousa gotta be fuc&ing kidding meesa!) to legacy journalists griping about Google between bowls of warm Jello, there is a palpable bitterness that the silver spoon sucklers of our culture will not be allowed to rest on their laurels forever.

The major faults cited with Keen's thesis is that it is largely un-researched, cherry-picked, and anecdotal. This is akin to saying that the tenants of Scientology are somewhat hard to prove. 'Seduction of the Innocent' was largely anecdotal. 'Cult' is hyperbole on crack.
Take for example the truly retarded grasp of economic principles required to issue such blanket statements as
"Every defunct record label, or laid-off newspaper reporter, or bankrupt independent bookstore is a consequence of "free" user-generated Internet content…" Really? Not a single faltering business has sunk out of shifting product demand, fiscal incompetence, or simply refusing to adapt to a changing global market? As a "silicon valley entrepreneur" the neo-luddite implications of some of Keen's more kooky rants are generally overlooked. (Especially when at the end of 'Cult', and he starts flailing like a blind prizefighter at everything from net gambling and MySpace to "gothic porn".) The fact that many of Keen's brilliant projects (Audiocafe, *cough*) have crumbled like a popsicle stick cinderblock tends to get glossed over in his resume. Not that he's bitter at us thieving proles, of course. After all, there must be something to blame for his failure other than antiquated business models and intellectual laziness.

Like most solipsistic would-be tyrants, Keen constantly echoes Orwell while simultaneously genuflexing to the type of overarching socialist control and monochromatic media that the man himself decried. (Wow, I just remembered the one part of '1984' I found unbelievable is that in the future everyone would even bother to listen to insipid songs written by computers.) I know nothing of the Andy's politics, nor do I care to, but much of his bellyaching carries the distinct aroma of pampered leftist culture shock. (I wouldn't use the term elitist to insult Keen. Like so many patrician Saxon dullards, he "pithily" considers it a compliment. Fine, how does joyless limey cackface work for ya' Andy?)
Keen blathers about the affront of an oil company using YouTube to mock Al Gore's greenie propaganda, but there is not surprisingly, no mention of the Blog community's uncovering of RatherGate. I can see why Keen so abjectly adores the old, decrepit guard of journalism. They both share the same operational philosophy; Never let the facts get in the way of the "Truth".
Our lad's cries of political spin, corporate brainwashing, and just plain artistic hackery, are more than a little disingenuous given how abjectly the lame-stream media is pickled in such. His reflections on this are rather amusing to a point. As there have been a handful of cases of business putting forth their point of view (gasp!) or MySpace pages made for fictional characters, how do we know that every single review, artwork, and human voice encountered on the internet is not a ruse? (In my day, we had a little thing called critical judgment.)
Oh my, it's tinfoil hat party time already. But Keen's contentions are schizophrenic in that they don't decry a daily diet of-or even a steady allegiance to-uniform media agitprop, unless it comes from a URL instead of a glass teat.

There is a reason for this of course. In all his presumption and pretension, the crux of Keen's idiocy is that it seems to take for granted that in all the immense volume of Web2.0, there is a no measure of quality. Professionals are not simple better at all that can be, and has ever been done (You know, polished commercial-savvy producers like Van Gogh, Melville, and Sam Raimi.) other voices should simply not be considered. Much like a messageboard flame from a Sony fanboy against the Wii, it's not that opposing facts are outweighed in 'Cult', the pesky things just never seem to find their way in. Veritas is granted, dissent is madness.
The only reason someone would choose a factually spotty Wikipedia (actually, um, turns out this is just another mainstream myth) over Britannica is that the content is free, not that the former exhibits a far greater capacity, and dare I say competence, (I dare) in covering a huge variety of niche topics.
The truth is, Keen isn't blind to the value of web 2.0, it simply behooves his agenda to bypass it. You see, in this world, truth, beauty, expression, are all irrelevant to the bottom line. The dyspeptic leopard's true spots were shown in his recent interview on the 'The Colbert Report'. Isn't it good that people can access great art from their homes?, asked our plucky host. No, they're stealing!, shot back Keen.

Stealing the vision of art?

Thus we come to the heart of the matter. Much like ancient fear of literate serfs, or even turn of the century terror tales about copper pots and AC current, the breadth of the status quo's concern for you stops at exactly how they can keep their tendrils in your wallet, and more importantly, your mind. While this battle is eternally and ruthlessly fought, this is a round I am happy to report the illuminati is destined to lose. I say this for no other reason than when faced with the consequences of the own sloth and greed, their first and last action is to whine about it.

I suppose this is the point in my review where I should parrot the "much to think about" line others use in reference to Keen's bucket of snot and bile. (You can almost sense the nervous "Please invite me to the next beautiful person dinner party" tremulations in their typing.) Fine, you know what, lordy lordy I done wrong. I'll shut down this site ASAP and become a turnip farmer. I'll stop downloading the meaningful bits of entertainment from my past from YouTube. I can see now it's morally superior to let the work of talented unknowns pass from human memory while I preorder the 'Transformers' dvd.

As I lack the judgment even to decide what to stare blankly at, I will need the informed opinion of others. Unfortunately, I can no longer rely on the informed, articulate, and witty opinions of mere buffs. Dang, where's Pauline Kael when you need her? Likewise, I repent of my recent purchase of bootleg dvd's of both 'Daria' and 'Sifl & Olly'. I should have turned my attention to the syndication of '2 and ½ Men', which judging by the commercials, consists solely of an eight-year-old boy propositioning blond syphilitics. After all, Viacom decided that I never wanted to see those shows again, and who am I, a sinner, to question.
And while we're at it, why did I ever buy 'John Dies at the End', a magnificently quirky novel I've already read, when Doubleday was so kind to print for me the pampered apologetics of a smug, humorless, twat.

 

 

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