Resolutions
You may be
shocked to learn I‘m not perfect. (No! It‘s true!) In the coming year I promise
to;
Try and stop comparing every game/movie I review to ‘Silent Hill 2’ and ‘The Evil Dead’, respectively.
Stop doing my Peter Lorre impression for cute women that I like. It’s not the sexy ice-breaker I seemed to think it was.
Be less sucky more.
Teach my spell-check the difference between the words ‘excretory’ and ‘extractable‘.
Stop using the word excretory in every review.
Out of respect for death, stop making fun of Pauline Kael. She wasn’t so bad, after all, she could have been John Simon.
Make fun of John Simon more. (He got’s fired! Ha!)
Spend more time with my loved ones, and less time looking for “asian lesbian bondage” on Google image search.
Remember to delete that last line.
Try to compose sentences with no more than 17 pauses or commas.
Spend less time reviewing films I know I’ll hate, and more time viewing films I think I’ll like.
To give the ‘Doom’ movie a fair and dispassionate evaluation. (*Snicker*)
Stop post-dating blog entries to make them look like they were written around New Year's instead of March.
"January 01, 2006"